


Across The Map

by jazzyo3



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:59:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzyo3/pseuds/jazzyo3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray meets Michael through an online game of Call of Duty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Across The Map - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the beginning to my new fic series! I really like this idea and it’s fun to write about. I can’t wait to write more chapters. I hope you guys enjoy! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BrownMan was killed by LtMkilla

There was no one around. He stared through the doorway, crouching and looking for any sign of movement. He stepped slowly outside and turned around to scan the area. Then, in an instant, he heard a drop and a couple of footsteps before he was stabbed right in the chest.

**_BrownMan was killed by LtMkilla_ **

"Fuck!" Ray yelled. This was the fifth time that kid had killed him in only one round. He didn't understand -- he was the best Call of Duty player out of anyone he knew, but he just couldn't beat this guy. He kept trying though, like he had been for the last half hour.

"Whatever, man. I'm gonna get your ass this time," he threatened the other player.

"Good luck," the player responded with a hint of pride. Once again Ray camped in an area, slowly moving so as to catch his opponent, but he was caught off guard when the other character sneaked into the same room and shot him.

**_BrownMan was killed by LtMkilla_ **

"What the fuck?!" Ray shouted. He was tired of losing to this person. It may have been his ego, but he just couldn't accept the fact that someone else was better at this game than he was.

The boy he was competing against laughed hard into his headset, and Ray managed to follow his character halfway across the map while he was still distracted. Ray finally got some shots into him, but the player quickly turned around and killed him before he could do a significant amount of damage.

**_BrownMan was killed by LtMkilla_ **

This time Ray just groaned and dropped his controller. His character stood still in the game while he leaned against his couch and sighed angrily.

"What's wrong, _BrownMan_?" his opponent mocked. He ran circles around Ray's character as he waited for him to pick the controller back up.

Ray stared at the screen for a few seconds before returning to the game. He didn't want to try and kill the guy again, though, because he knew he couldn't. Plus, he was tired of seeing that stupid " _BrownMan was killed by LtMkilla_ " pop up every two minutes.

"Look," he started, but the player had thrown a grenade towards him and ran away before he could continue, so he died again.

**_BrownMan was killed by LtMkilla_ **

"Fucking -- _Listen_!" he said, annoyed now. His opponent stopped running.

"What?" he asked, laughing a little bit at the spot where Ray's dead body remained.

Ray sighed and thought of what he was going to say before he said it. Eventually, he started explaining.

"I can see that you're... doing better than I am at the moment," he began. His opponent chuckled and Ray ignored it.

"But I think that if we team up, we'd work better together. Killing bitches and what not."

The opponent was quiet for a moment, and then he hummed in thought. Ray rolled his eyes. It was just a game! One that he wanted to win...

"Alright," he finally said. "Why not?"

They went back to the lobby and started a team match with random players. A lot of guys were talking over each other, but Ray somehow was always able to pinpoint his new teammate's voice, even though they'd only been playing together for about an hour. He paid no mind to it, though, and they actually worked together with their team.

Ray didn't speak much throughout the match because he didn't really have much to say. He listened to the others, though. He listened to each joke his teammate made with the other players and he listened to every swear of frustration that came out of his mouth. After what felt like only a minute, the match was over, and their team won by a landslide. Ray, however, got the least kills.

"What the hell were you doing, BrownMan? You were pretty much across the map for the entire match!" his teammate scolded. Ray cleared his throat and shrugged, but then realized that no one could see him, and said, "I dunno, sorry! It wasn’t that far… I guess I just wasn't focusing."

The other boy sighed and let it go and they agreed to try another match. This one went much better as Ray actually tried to kill those on the other team. He followed his friend -- if you could call them friends -- across the map and acted as sort of a defense. His gaming ability shone through, though, and they won again by far.

"Hey, nice job, man." Ray recognized the voice as his friend's and a smile tugged at his lips. He didn't really know why, but he appreciated the praise from him.

"Thanks," he replied in a quiet voice. "You too."

As they were back in the lobby, he could hear his friend shuffling around a little bit through the microphone. After a minute, he said, "Hey, I gotta go. I'll be online tomorrow though, if you wanna play again or something."

Ray hesitated on his words but managed to respond. "Oh, uh -- Yeah. Cool. I'll add you?"

"Yeah," the boy said on the other line, and Ray fumbled through the Xbox menu as he made his way to his profile. He added him as a friend, and after a few seconds received an alert telling him that his request had been accepted.

"It was nice playing with you," Ray said. Then he bit his tongue. That must have sounded really stupid -- no one ever says " _it was nice playing with you!_ " They were two men who had just played Call of Duty, not two little girls who had just had a Polly Pocket playdate. He raised a hand to hold his face in embarrassment, but bumped his headset in the process and felt even more embarrassed.

He heard a slight giggle on the other line. "Yeah, it was. Oh, and what was your name?"

Ray tried to ignore his red face and answer clearly. "Ray. What's -- what's yours?"

"Michael," the boy responded. "Well, I'll see you later, Ray," he said with a friendly voice.

"Yeah," Ray said. "See ya."

Michael signed off and so did Ray shortly after. He turned off his Xbox, removed his headset and started towards his bedroom. When he reached the bed, he fell onto it and stared at the ceiling. He decided that it'd probably be a good time to go to sleep since it was already 11:00 PM and he had nothing else to do. He laid on his side and closed his eyes.

Something inside of him was buzzing, and he didn't know why. He felt a strange mixture of nausea and anticipation and he couldn't kick a small smile that formed on his face. All he knew was that he couldn't wait for the morning to get on his Xbox. Maybe he was just excited to play some more Call of Duty or something.


	2. Across The Map - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thanks for hanging out with me, man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OhHhHh man, things are happening. ;3 Enjoy!

Ray woke up groggy and struggled to open his eyes. Once he managed to sit up, he drowsily slipped on his glasses and checked the time on his phone. It was 10:46 AM. Suddenly he felt completely awake and he sprung up from his bed to run to the living room. Without thinking, he rushed to turn on his Xbox and sign in. He hadn't bothered to get dressed or anything, so he sat there in his boxers and a T-shirt.

He searched through his online friends on the menu, but Michael wasn't online. Then he felt stupid.

Of course he wasn't online -- he probably had a life, unlike Ray. And he probably had a job, or school, or a girlfriend... Plus, Ray had no idea where he lived. He didn't know what his last name was and he didn't know what he looked like. He hardly knew anything about this kid. They had only spent a couple hours online together. It's not like _he_ was rushing to see if Ray was online.

Ray frowned at himself and sighed. He debated on whether or not he should play some games since he'd already signed on, but he decided that he should actually get up and do something. He started heading to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day.

—————————————————————————————————————

By the time he was out of the shower, it had only been fifteen minutes. He thought he'd done a good job at dragging it out, but he still had way too much time on his hands. He groaned and stood in the bathroom with the towel around his waist for a few seconds, contemplating his next move.

"Well I might as well look good for doing absolutely fucking nothing," he murmured before grabbing some hair product and delicately running it through his hair. He painstakingly took his time, and when he was done, he couldn't help but check the time again. It had only been five minutes.

" _Fuck_ ," he muttered.

He deliberately looked through his entire closet just to settle on a plain blue T-shirt, and then he did the same to find some shorts. He sprayed on a bit of cologne and even took the liberty of straightening up his bathroom a bit.

It had only taken twelve minutes.

He padded into his kitchen, convincing himself that he was going to grab some food, but he really just used it as an excuse to stare at his Xbox menu from another location. He couldn't see Michael online, but there was still a chance if his username was more off to the side. He picked up an apple to eat for breakfast, but knowing that he honestly wouldn't eat it, he put it back down. He casually walked into the living room and took the Xbox controller from the couch.

A quick scroll through the avatars revealed that Michael still wasn't online. Ray pretended that he didn't care and turned his Xbox off. Then he shuffled into his room and threw on a sweatshirt. He might as well go out and do something. Maybe he would go for a walk or do some errands. Maybe that way he would feel like less of a loser.

 _Probably not_ , he thought.

—————————————————————————————————————

Ray ended up leaving his apartment for most of the day, a total of six hours. He started by walking to Starbucks and getting some coffee. After that he got lunch at Subway. Then he went to the bank, the grocery store, and he even visited his friend Gavin for a while. They ate dinner at some burger restaurant downtown and then Ray walked back home.

Even though he did get a fair amount of productive things done that day, he still felt on-edge. Why did he want to be on the Xbox so bad? Was this really all about that one new friend he'd made? He didn't know, but he caved in and sat at the couch, turning the console on again.

His heart leapt to his throat when he saw Michael's avatar as a part of his online friends. He didn't know what to do, though -- he hadn't really planned that. He scrolled until Michael's avatar was hovering in place at the front of the screen and he just kept it there. He must've seen Ray sign on... Maybe he would invite him to a game or something. One could hope.

Ray sat on his couch, knees to chest, waiting for anything. A few minutes passed before he just felt pathetic, so he contemplated starting a single-player game, but an alert popped up before he could do anything.

**_LtMkilla sent you a message_ **

Ray's head swam with excitement. He opened his inbox as quickly as he could and selected the message.

_Hey man. Saw you come online. Wondering if you wanna play some games maybe pc? If not then halo or something. You can add my skype at mjones2000 if thats easier_

Ray couldn't help but smile. He started to reply to the message but decided that just messaging him on Skype would be easier. He ran the few steps to his desk and powered his computer. The few minutes it took to turn on were unbearable, but finally he was able to open Skype. He searched the username that Michael gave him and added him as a contact.

 _Huh. So, Jones must be his last name..._ he thought.

A couple of seconds later, Michael accepted Ray's request. Ray didn't know how to start the conversation, but he did his best.

**_RayBrownman:_ ** _Hi. This is Michael?_  
 **_mjones2000:_ ** _No, this is Patrick.  
_ **_mjones2000:_ ** _Of course it's Michael. Dumbass_

Ray smiled. He could already tell that their senses of humor were pretty similar.

**_RayBrownman:_ ** _Well you never know!  
_ **_RayBrownman:_ ** _so what's the plan?_

He watched with anticipation as the little writing symbol displayed at the bottom of the conversation, indicating Michael's typing.

**_mjones2000:_ ** _I was thinking minecraft if that's cool with you_  
 **_RayBrownman:_ ** _Sure. pc?_  
 **_mjones2000:_ ** _Yeah  
_ **_mjones2000:_ ** _hold on. Finding a server_

Ray played absentmindedly with a pen from his desk as he waited for Michael to tell him what to do. He couldn't wait to spend some time with him -- gaming, that is. He was excited to play games.

**_mjones2000:_ ** _Fuck. it's not fucking working  
_ **_mjones2000:_ ** _Well shit. Looks like we'll have to do something else_

With anyone else, Ray would have frowned, but he really didn't mind this time. Whatever Michael wanted to do, he was up for it. That's what friends are for, right?

**_RayBrownman:_ ** _Good job fucking it up already_  
 **_RayBrownman:_ ** _What now?_  
 **_mjones2000:_ ** _Shut up_  
 **_mjones2000:_ ** _I dunno brown man. What does that mean anyway_  
 **_RayBrownman:_ ** _What does what mean?  
_ **_mjones2000:_ ** _Brownman_

Ray explained to Michael how he got the nickname "Brown Man" from middle school. He also told him that his last name was Narvaez and that he was Puerto Rican. He wasn't sure why Michael was curious, _but he was alright with it._

**_mjones2000:_ ** _Haha. Well at least I can now say I have a racial minority as a friend_  
 **_RayBrownman:_ ** _Get that all the time  
_ **_RayBrownman:_ ** _just don't use me for my luscious dark hair and beautiful brown skin_

Their conversation continued on from there, and they talked about a lot of things -- video games, movies, and television mostly. These three topics alone lasted them for four hours. Their jokes coincided perfectly to the point where they didn't get bored of each other, and before Ray knew it, it was dark outside and getting quite late.

**_mjones2000:_ ** _Well I should head to bed. I cant believe we talked for so long, god damn!_  
 **_mjones2000:_ ** _thanks for hanging out with me, man. I'll see you later_  
 **_RayBrownman:_ ** _Yeah me too. Its late. Haha, your fault though  
_ **_RayBrownman:_ ** _Goodnight :)_

Ray's breath caught in his throat. He actually just sent Michael a _smiley face_. How stupid could he be? Michael probably thought he was a total creep now, if he didn't already. He wished he could take it back but all he could do was bite his lip and wait for a response as the little pencil at the bottom animated with Michael's typing.

**_mjones2000:_ ** _night :)  
_ **_mjones2000 is offline_ **

He held his head in his hands. Michael _returned_ the smiley. What the hell? Maybe it was just a normal thing. He was probably just overreacting again. It _was_ only a smiley face, after all. He shrugged it off on the outside, but on the inside, that nauseous feeling was back. This time it was worse, though, because now he was even further into Michael's world, even though they'd barely grazed the surface of their friendship.

As he went to bed, he held onto that feeling. He took solace in the fact that they would probably be talking again soon and again he couldn't wait for the morning to come. He'd probably end up sleeping in, though, due to staying up and talking with Michael. It was worth it.

Eventually, his nerves calmed enough to let him drift to sleep, and he pretended that he didn't wish someone was lying next to him.


	3. Across The Map - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s like he knew Ray was already thinking about him non-stop and he just wanted to watch him squirm even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while but I really like it! It’s just… so cute. Goodness. I need more Raychael in my life. （人´ ω `）I hope you guys like it! :)

The next day was torture for Ray. With how well things went last night, all he wanted to do was talk to Michael again. The only way he could get to him, though, was through Xbox and Skype -- both of which he was offline.

He did the same thing he'd done the day before, but this time, he left the apartment to take a long walk. He tried to make it last as long as possible to just distract himself from how badly he wanted to be talking with his new friend. That turned out to be a bad idea, though. Since the park he was walking through was beautiful and serene, the silence forced him to think freely, and all of his thoughts led back to Michael. He thought about everything they'd typed to each other and everything they'd talked about. He thought about how well the two words fit together --  _Michael Jones_ . He thought about what he might look like, and he thought about where he might live. He thought about what his family might be like. He thought about what job he might have and what he might like to do on the weekends. Then he started thinking about who he might be seeing, and how insignificant Ray must be to him in comparison.

Something inside of him sank. It had only been two days. This kid was miles and miles away from him, most likely, and they'd only ever talked online. Just because they'd spoken for a few hours doesn't mean that Michael felt this... whatever Ray was feeling. He was mad at himself for feeling whatever this was. This wasn't normal. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted to be a normal, non-obsessed, online friend.

The negative thoughts subsided eventually and he went back to anticipation. He couldn't wait to get home and check his inbox. It nagged at him and he quickened his pace when he was a few blocks away from his apartment.

When he arrived home, he rushed to check his Xbox, and there was nothing. Michael wasn't online and his inbox was empty. He went to check his Skype, but there was nothing there either. No messages, and no Michael. His hopes were crushed.

He decided to order pizza that night and eat it alone on his living room floor. He spent the rest of the night playing Xbox games and hoping that an alert would pop up on his screen, telling him that LtMkilla had sent him a message.

It didn't.

—————————————————————————————————————

Ray's ringtone woke him up early in the morning. Gavin was calling.

He sighed hard and answered it. Gavin told him that he was filming a slow-mo video with their friend Dan for their Youtube channel, and he wanted Ray to come over and help them with it. They were planning on recording people jumping on a trampoline that had water balloons on it -- something weird like that. Ray started to decline, but Gavin wouldn't take no for an answer, so he gave in and got ready to walk over there.

Gavin lived pretty close, so it wasn't a long walk, but he still had some time to reflect on things. He thought about Michael again, and he mentally thanked Gavin for making him get out of bed and spend time somewhere else. This would be a great distraction for him. Plus, maybe Michael would leave him some messages while he was gone. That would be nice.

Gavin and Dan greeted him graciously when he showed up and immediately started telling him what they were doing. Ray just raised an eyebrow and let them put some silly rain coat on him in front of the camera. They made him give a quick, "Hi, I'm Ray," and then he was instructed to jump on Gavin's trampoline and land on water balloons. They exploded onto his clothing and he ended up soaked from the waist-down, until Gavin decided to be funny and started throwing water balloons at his chest.

By the end of the recording and impromptu water balloon fight, he was completely wet. Gavin and Dan lent him a plastic baggie to put his phone and keys in so they wouldn't get wet as well, and then they offered him to stay for dinner. He realized he'd already spent four hours there and he considered going home, but he decided to stay. It  _was_ free food, after all. They ate some hamburgers that Dan cooked on the grill (to perfection), and somehow they ended up watching a movie on Netflix together.

When it was over, Ray finally announced that he'd be going home. It was almost 9:00 PM now, so Gavin and Dan let him leave and told him to come back soon. On the walk home, he thought less about Michael and more about the friends that he had here. He really loved them and he wished that he'd show them more appreciation. Maybe he was starting to let go of this fascination with Michael after all.

That was, until he got home. He went on his computer like he usually did before he went to sleep, and when he opened Skype, there were six new messages.

_Wednesday, 2:13 PM_

_**mjones2000:** Rayyyy y_

_**mjones2000:** My friend wants to meet you_

_**mjones2000:** we're playing Minecraft_

_Wednesday, 4:03 PM_

_**mjones2000:** get online bitch!_

_**mjones2000:** I'm boooored_

_Wednesday, 7:38 PM_

_**mjones2000:** Dude I dont know if you play L4D2 but i found this sweet map today. If you do we should play it some time_

Ray's breath caught in his throat. He didn't actually expect Michael to leave him messages today, much less  _six_ . It took a moment for the fact to register, but when it did, his chest was buzzing. It was intensified when he saw the green dot next to his name -- Michael was online. He sat there for a minute, composing a message to send to him.

_**RayBrownman:** Sorry man. I had some stuff to do today. It was longer than I thought_

_**RayBrownman:** That'd be awesome, I love l4d2_

Michael started typing a response immediately and Ray smiled. He didn't know why, exactly. It was just kind of exciting. He ran to the kitchen to get a glass of water because he knew that he probably wouldn't be leaving his desk for a while now.

_**mjones2000:** Thats cool. Have fun?_

Ray thought for a moment. Michael was asking about what he did today.  _Trying to forget about you._

_**RayBrownman:** I did actually. I was was helping some friends. They filmed me for a video on their channel_

_**mjones2000:** Oh, they're youtubers? Can I check em out?_

Ray bit his lip. He couldn't believe how interested Michael was about this. It was just a little thing, but it was still pretty significant to him.

_**RayBrownman:** Sure! Their channel is theslowmoguys_

A few minutes passed with no response. Michael was probably watching a video or two. Ray waited quietly for some feedback.

_**mjones2000:** Thats so cool! Can't wait to see the one starring you_

Ray tried not to blush as he responded to Michael.

_**RayBrownman:** Yeah. Enjoy talking to me while you can. Paparazzi are gonna be everywhere soon_

_**mjones2000:** Hey man. Don't forget me when you're famous._

_**RayBrownman:** Haha. No promises. Maybe I'll give you an autograph or something though. We'll see_

_**mjones2000:** Well since youre going to be a hollywood star soon, do you wanna video chat? Who knows if ill ever get the chance again!_

Ray had to read the message over and over again.  _Do you wanna video chat?_ He was really asking Ray to  _video chat_ with him. It's like he knew Ray was already thinking about him non-stop and he just wanted to watch him squirm even more. There was no way Ray could reject this offer, though. It was Michael. And he didn't even have to ask first.

_**RayBrownman:** Alright. Lemme just set up my cam_

_**mjones2000:** K_

The truth was that Ray's webcam was built into his laptop so there was really nothing he needed to set up. He just needed a minute to fix... things. He started by picking up plates that could be seen behind him and some sweatshirts that were on his living room floor. Then he rushed to the bathroom to make sure he looked okay. He messed with his hair and adjusted his shirt about a thousand times before he finally decided that it was decent enough, and he returned to his computer. He took a big sip of his water and cleared his throat.

_**RayBrownman:** Ok. Its good_

_mjones2000 is offering to video chat: **accept** or **decline**_

Ray took a deep breath and clicked "accept." A screen popped with two big boxes. There was a moment of lag before their video cameras finally started working.

Ray took in the sight before his eyes. Michael's camera was pretty pixel-y, but he could still make out his features. He was wearing a pair of glasses that reflected part of his computer screen. His hair was cut somewhat short but some loose curls still remained. His arm that was resting on his desk revealed at least one tattoo. He was wearing an orange T-shirt that had Spongebob on it. Behind him, his floor was a mess, and his bed was unmade. His closet was cracked open and the fan was running. A lot of plushies were lined up across his dresser and one Yoshi plushie was among the pillows on his bed. Ray soaked all of this in and then realized he hadn't said anything yet -- he was just staring.

"Uh... Hey!" he finally choked out. Michael's eyes flickered just below the camera as he looked at Ray on his monitor.

He smiled at Ray and looked up at his webcam. "Hey! Nice apartment, dude. Very spic and span."

Michael's voice was sweet in Ray's ears and he naturally smiled at the sound. Something about it made him happy. He could listen to it for hours.

Ray laughed a little bit at the comment. "Thanks. Nice, uh... everything." He realized that sounded weird and then tried to correct himself. "Your room, I mean -- it's uh... there's a lot going on..."

Michael giggled at his stammering. "Yeah. I  _do_ have a nice everything, though," he said, gesturing towards his body. Ray chuckled nervously.

Michael managed to get the conversation rolling over the next few minutes. Ray was beginning to find out that he had quite a skill in that, and he appreciated it as compensation for his own awkward silence. Soon enough, they were talking comfortably, and it was just like the conversation they had with typing. It was way more amazing this time, though. They were both animated and they were able to laugh in response to jokes. They smiled at funny comments and leaned forward when they got excited about the topic. Their voices raised and lowered in conjunction to their conversation and they never got bored or had uncomfortable silences.

Just as Ray had expected, a few hours passed in what felt like no time. He didn't want to stop talking to Michael, though, so he didn't bring up the time. Michael noticed on his own anyway and pointed it out.

"Oh, man... It's almost two in the morning."

So they were on the same time zone, then. That was interesting. Ray had suspected that he'd be across the country or something, but his state must have been near New York, or he might even live there. The idea surprised Ray the more he thought about it.

"Yeah. Same time here." Ray took a long drink from his water. His throat was tired from talking.

"Hey, you wanna watch a movie?"

The question caught Ray off guard. He raised an eyebrow and lowered the glass from his lips. "What do you mean?"

Michael smiled. "It's easy. You have Netflix, right?" Ray nodded. "We just pick a movie on there, start it at the same time, and we're pretty much watching it together."

Ray thought about it and nodded. "Sure! That sounds awesome. What movie?" He opened Netflix in a new tab.

Michael opened Netflix, too, and started browsing through the titles. "Hmm... Actually, how about we watch some  Drake and Josh ? You can't go wrong there."

Ray grinned. "I'm down for that."

"Alright," Michael said. "Hold on, though. I'm gonna bring my laptop to bed. I'm getting tired of sitting."

Ray watched as Michael's camera shook when he made his way to the bed and it steadied when it was set down. He could see the opposite side of the room now. It was pretty much just his bedroom door, a few posters, and his desk. Michael walked over to flip the light switch and his monitor illuminated the room. He slipped into the covers and adjusted his laptop's screen to the right position. He slipped off his glasses and Ray could see that his bedspread was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themed.

"Ready?" Ray asked when Michael was done fidgeting. He couldn't help but gaze at the boy in the light of his laptop screen. He was just so... good looking. Damn.

Michael nodded into his pillow and started counting down. "3... 2... 1... Click!"

They both clicked play at the same time and gave a little cheer of success when their episodes were synced. They watched together, and every now and then Ray stole a quick look at Michael's face. He couldn't help it. He hoped to God that the boy didn't notice.

He didn't, thankfully, and they shared funny remarks throughout the episode. They died down over the minutes and Ray noticed that Michael's eyelids were starting to droop. He placed his hand in front of his mouth to hide his smiling at how adorable Sleepy Michael was.

Then, his eyes slowly closed shut, and his face softened. Ray's expression was beaming now. Michael had  _fallen asleep on webcam_ with him. He really couldn't ask for anything more.

There were only a few minutes left in the episode so Ray finished it before watching Michael for a few moments again. His chest rose and fell with light breaths and his face had sank further into the pillow. Ray sighed and muttered a goodnight to the unconscious boy on the other end.

He ended the video call and left his computer to go to sleep, a smile still set upon his face. 


	4. Across The Map - Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A pinky promise doesn’t work as well over the phone, huh…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s part 4; you gotta love that fluff! Also, I had to kind of make up where they lived because I don’t know the exact cities, so bear with me. I hope you like it! :)

"Will you bloody shut _up_ about him? Christ."

Ray had agreed to go to the movies with Gavin and Dan that night to see The Hangover III. It had been a week since Michael had fallen asleep on webcam with him and Ray just couldn't get him off of his mind. He had no one else to ramble on to about Michael, so he'd done a lot of talking about him to Gavin and Dan. All through the night, it was just, _"Michael told me the funniest joke yesterday!" "Ohh, yeah. Michael said that episode's really good." "I wonder if Michael would like this..."_

The only time Ray wasn't talking about Michael was when he was texting him. Since the video chat, they'd exchanged numbers and added each other on Facebook. Ray considered it a pretty big step. Now he was able to see a lot of what when on in Michael's life and talk to him wherever he was. Also, he found out that Michael lived in southern Jersey, so he was only about two hours away. This both excited him and made him nervous.

On their way out of the theater, Ray didn't feel right, and he brought a hand down to check if he was missing anything from his pockets. His heart skipped a beat when he didn't feel his wallet but he double-checked just to be sure it wasn't there. It was definitely missing.

" _Fuck_ ," Ray mumbled as he started searching the ground around them.

Dan and Gavin turned around. "What?" Dan asked.

"My fucking wallet's gone..."

The three returned to the theater and searched around the seats in the dark. They looked through every row and every spot they could, but after twenty minutes, they still didn't find it. Gavin had offered to ask an employee for help, but Ray declined. It was too late. He'd just cancel his credit card when he got home.

When they got in the car, Ray was still in a sort of upset mood, but he was cooling down. They started a conversation and when they were halfway to Ray's house, Gavin brought something up.

"Hey, can I borrow your digital camera? Dan and I are going to Hawaii next week and I ran out of space on m--"

" _Hawaii_?!" Ray cut him off. He'd never heard of these plans before.

"Hawaii," Gavin repeated. "Just a vacation thing. We've been saving up."

Ray frowned. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal or anything. It'll just be for a week."

A few seconds of silence passed before Ray spoke again with a small voice. "Why didn't you invite me?"

Gavin turned around in his seat and looked at him. "Ray, c'mon. I would have, but it costs a lot. It's taken us a few months just to be able to do this now, and..." He trailed off when he saw a hurt expression on Ray's face. Ray was facing away now, staring out the window.

"It's fine," he mumbled. "You can borrow the camera. Take pictures of all the fun you have for me, will you?"

Dan sighed from the driver's seat. Gavin just bit his lip and didn't add any more to it. He didn't want to make things worse.

The last minute of the car ride was silent, and when they got to his apartment, Ray immediately left the car and started walking up the stairs. Gavin could barely call out a "goodnight" before Ray was already to his door.

He stormed in and went to his computer to cancel his credit card. Then he pulled his digital camera out of his closet and set it out to give to Gavin later. When he was done, he got ready for bed and tucked himself under the covers. He was still mad, though. Things were just getting to him and he couldn't calm down. There was only one thing he could do that might soothe him, but he didn't know if he had the courage.

He debated over it for a long while, but finally he decided to just do it. He reached over and picked up his phone. He tapped the name of the contact and his phone started calling.

**_Calling Michael Jones..._ **

Four agonizing rings passed before Michael answered with a groggy voice. "Hello?"

"Did I wake you?" Ray asked, worried that he was being annoying, but also appreciating the sweet sound of his voice. He hadn't heard it since the video call.

"No, no! I was already doing somethin'." Lie. "Is everything alright?"

The genuine concern in Michael's voice warmed Ray's heart. "Uhh, well... Not really."

He heard a slight shift on Michael's end, probably him sitting up in his bed. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, when we were at the movies, I lost my wallet. It had everything in it; my credit card, $120, all of my gift cards... Then Gavin told me that he and Dan are going on some vacation to Hawaii, and they didn't even bring it up to me before." He sighed at himself and stared at the ceiling. "It's stupid, really. I just feel like shit."

"I'm really sorry, Ray." Hearing Michael say his name sent a shiver down his spine. "I'm sure things will be fine, though -- you can still salvage your credit card. And maybe I'll send you a bunch of gift cards to fill up a new wallet!"

Ray giggled, but he secretly thought that it would be awesome if Michael had sent him gift cards.

"And I'm sorry about Gavin and Dan. It's pretty stupid of them to not fill you in on things. I'm sure it's not personal, though. From what I've seen, they love you a lot. I mean, who _couldn't_?"

Ray started blushing and caught himself with a big, stupid grin. He was so happy that Michael would take the effort to make him feel better. That's all he could ever really ask for.

"Thank you." He let out a small laugh. "Sorry for bugging you, I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest I guess."

"Stop it."

Ray frowned. "Stop what?"

"You're not bugging me. Don't think that you are."

Ray smiled again and rolled over to his side. "Alright. I'll stop saying I'm bugging you."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise."

Michael sighed. "A pinky promise doesn't work as well over the phone, huh..."

"Unfortunately, no," Ray agreed. "But the thought's still there."

"That's true. So that means that if you ever have something you want to talk about, you can always call me. Okay?"

"Okay," Ray complied. "That means you can't complain if I call you at four in the morning saying that my toaster isn't working."

Michael laughed. "I am a man of my word, Ray."

Ray breathed a sigh of content and gripped his phone. His ear was hot from being pressed against it, and he was getting pretty tired.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed before I fall asleep, like someone I know..."

Michael groaned. "It was an _accident_!"

"Yeah, yeah, sleepyhead. Goodnight." He smiled into his pillow. "Thanks for talking to me," he added in a softer voice.

"Any time," Michael responded. "I'm glad to help. Goodnight, and sleep well. I'll talk to you in the morning."

The assurance of talking in the morning comforted Ray and he smiled as he hung up. He set his phone down and shut his eyes, preparing for another night of dreams involving Michael.


	5. Across The Map - Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted him in every sense; he wanted Michael as a palpable being lying next to him when it’s dark at night and he wanted Michael’s fingers that twitched when he laughed to be tangible and he wanted to feel Michael’s breath against his skin when he spoke those words that he’d only ever heard through a receiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry for the delay on fics lately! I’ve been finishing up school (final exams, make-up work and all that) so that’s been eating up a lot of my time. I only have three days left, though, and then I have all summer to write as much as I want!! I hope you guys like this chapter, enjoy! :)

It was their sixth video chat when Ray decided it was time.

It took a long time for him to even come to terms with it. He'd done so much dismissing to Gavin and Dan, so much dismissing to himself; he'd only ever shove the thought out of his mind because he really, really did not want it to be true. But when he found himself lonely on the nights where before meeting Michael he'd have been fine, and when he'd cancel plans to stay at home and talk on Skype, and when the voice in his head took the inflection of Michael's because of the hours spent on the phone with him, he realized it. He loved Michael Jones.

He loved the way his typing differed between whoever he was talking to, he loved the way his voice would quiver over the phone when he was about to tell a punchline, he loved the way he was terrible at giving instructions, he loved the way his sentences became nonsensical when he was falling asleep, he loved the way a TV screen would reflect in his glasses when he was on webcam, he loved the way he'd brag whenever he successfully made a box of macaroni all on his own. He fucking loved it all. It made him queasy to think about the intensity of which he loved it. There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to reach through the computer screen and grab Michael's goofy face and tell him that the past three months had meant the entire world to him. He just wanted him. He wanted him in every sense; he wanted Michael as a palpable being lying next to him when it's dark at night and he wanted Michael's fingers that twitched when he laughed to be tangible and he wanted to feel Michael's breath against his skin when he spoke those words that he'd only ever heard through a receiver. He didn't even regret meeting him anymore. Now he _knew_ that he was truly, deeply and irreversibly in love with someone that he'd met through a game of Black Ops, and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

It was just past midnight and Ray was on his couch with his laptop on the coffee table. Michael's face animated on the screen as he told some story involving his two best friends, whom of which had left only twenty minutes ago. He'd introduced them to Ray and they all talked together for a good two hours. Ray loved the fact that he was being displayed to Michael's friends. It was pretty much the perfect build-up to what he was planning to admit that evening.

To be honest, he wasn't really listening to Michael's exciting story. He was absorbing each spoken syllable and using them to assure himself that what he was about to do was right. This was all so perfect. He couldn't believe how well things were turning out; everything was in his favor. Michael was still overflowing with bubbly happiness from the visit with his friends, things were more relaxed now that it was night time, and Ray was just filled with an overwhelming confidence. He was ready.

"...And I said, 'That's the _last_ fucking time you convince me to take you to the zoo.' Man, it was fucking intense." Michael laughed a few more times as he wrapped up his story, almost as if he was reliving the memory as he reminisced about it. Ray smiled and laughed along with him, now almost curious as to what the story was about, but he kept focused on what he was going to say.

"Hey, Michael," he started when he felt there was an appropriate gap of silence to speak.

"Yeah?" Michael asked, a smirk still lingering on his face.

Ray cleared his throat. He did his best not to nervously look away from the screen as he spoke. "Well, I just wanted to say that these past weeks have been really awesome."

Michael cut in. "Totally!" He smiled, and Ray returned the expression before continuing.

"And I'm really glad I've gotten to know you. Like... Whenever I come home, I'm kind of excited to come online because I know you'll be there to tell me about your day or something new you've discovered. And I've never had someone that I can call at 3 AM to tell them that the new movie we've been wanting to see came out so we can watch it online together. And I've never had someone I've been able to get things off my chest to, and I've never had someone that's been so relatable to me, which is especially awesome considering you don't even live here."

Michael just smiled warmly and nodded, allowing Ray to go on.

"I... ahh, sorry. I had so much planned to say, it's just hard to remember now." He gave a slight nervous laugh. "I'll just get to the point then. I think you and I have a lot of shit in common, and there's no one I'd rather spend my time with than you, so I guess what I'm saying is that... I like you. I really like you."

Michael's expression faded and he stared blankly at his screen. A few long seconds passed before he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Ray's breath caught in his throat. "I, uh -- I like you."

"Why?"

Ray wasn't expecting his confession to be questioned, but he went along with it. "Because you make me feel better when I'm sad, and we have a lot of fun together. I think our friendship's really strong despite the distance and that seems kind of special."

Michael continued to stare, open-mouthed, like what he was hearing wasn't even registering. Finally, he bit his lip and sat up in his seat a bit.

"Umm, hey -- I gotta go. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Ray was about to return the abrupt goodbye, but Michael exited and signed off before any words could pass his lips. He sat there on his couch and continued to watch his screen for several more minutes. He was in shock. He didn't expect Michael to just leave like what he'd just revealed hadn't been thought about for days and days and practiced in the mirror thousands of times. He thought he would return the statement, or at least acknowledge it. But Michael left. He was offline, with no explanation and definitely no consolation for the emptiness that Ray was now beginning to feel as the seconds passed. A lump swelled in his throat and he had to slam his laptop shut before he started tearing up. He shoved it to the side and fled to his bedroom.

He collapsed into his sheets and tried to control his own breathing. Everything seemed harder now. He'd never not been at ease with Michael; things were so different when he knew that his lifeline wasn't there at the moment and didn't know if it'd be back. This was supposed to be one of the best nights of his life.

This was supposed to be it.

"Fuck, _fuck, **fuck me**_ ," he muttered to himself, his voice raising as he balled the fabric of the sheets into his hands. "Fuck me. I'm such a fucking-- a fucking **_idiot_**. Fuck."

He felt that this was all his fault. He didn't have to bring that shit up -- of course Michael wouldn't like him back. This wasn't some cute little love story that you'd see in a movie or something. This was reality, his reality, and he'd fucked it all up.

"I deserve this. _Fuck_."


	6. Across The Map - Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Because sometimes when I’m sitting on my couch and just texting you about random shit or talking to you on Skype, it’s like you’re actually there, and because the thought of you being there next to me is something I really actually enjoy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this makes you guys feel a little better about the last chapter! Enjoy!! :)

Michael had immediately retreated to bed after signing off that night. He knew he wasn't handling it the way he should, but he just didn't want to face anything right now. He was caught off guard by Ray's words and he didn't know what to do, so he just... left. He laid in bed that night and made a full effort to push all thoughts of Ray out of his mind.

The next morning, he woke up in a fog, and for a few minutes he didn't even remember the situation from last night. Memories came flooding back to him, though, and a wave of guilt washed over him. He reached over to check the time on his phone and an alert popped up saying that there were four new messages from Ray.

**_12:51 AM  
_ ** _I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that._

**_1:13 AM  
_ ** _Do you hate me now_

**_2:05 AM  
_ ** _pleaese reply_

**_2:58 AM  
_ ** _micha el im' sorry_

He breathed a deep sigh and his fingers twitched to respond, but he couldn't bring himself to text Ray back. He needed some time to think about things. This was kind of a big deal and all.

His apartment was cold today and the linoleum of the kitchen floor was even colder against his bare feet. He poured a glass of water but didn't even take a sip before he decided to give Geoff a call to seek advice.

It took five rings for Geoff to pick up the phone; probably because Michael tended to wake up early and it was 7 AM. "What in the everlasting fuck do you want, Michael?"

"Morning to you too, Geoff." He absent-mindedly spun his glass of water in circles while he talked. "I need some help."

Michael could almost feel Geoff transition from annoyed to concerned. "What's wrong, buddy?"

"Uhh, well last night I was talking to Ray--"

"Ray again?" Geoff sighed. He'd been hearing about this kid for weeks now. "What could be wrong? You guys are practically like, lovers, right?"

Michael quieted. "That's the thing. He told me, that uhh... He told me that he likes me." He could hear Geoff hum with understanding on the other end.

"If I'm going to help you, kid, you need to be more specific. Give me details."

"I had some friends over and we were all talking on Skype for a while, and then after they left, he told me that he likes me. I didn't know what to say, so I just... didn't."

"Well, what did you do?"

"I just said I had to go and then I left. He left me four texts and it seems like he was sort of freaking out--"

"You're a fucking idiot."

Michael frowned. "What?"

"Why didn't you tell him you like him back?"

"Because... Because I don't?"

Geoff groaned. "Bullshit. Michael, I've never seen you so attached to one person, and this person doesn't even live here. You put so much effort into your relationship with him and whenever you tell me about him I see this big, dumbass smile light up your face like you've never met someone that cares about you so much as he does. I know it's confusing and unexpected and scary, but you like this dude, and you're really hurting him right now."

Michael chewed on his lip and soaked in Geoff's words. "But are you sure..."

"Don't think, just answer: do you like Ray?"

"Yes."

"Alright then."

Michael stared at the ground. There it was. He liked Ray, too. "Well I did not fucking see that coming."

"I did," Geoff responded blankly. "Now go and tell him you fucked up."

"Thanks, Geoff."

"Yeah. Just stop calling me in the goddamn morning." He hung up.

He took a long drink of water from his glass and set it down again. He needed to call Ray, and he needed to do it now. Those texts seemed really urgent, and who knows what could have happened in the past six hours that Michael had gone without replying? He really _did_ feel like a fucking idiot as he padded into the living room and started calling Ray.

He had to wait quite a few rings again for an answer, but when the phone picked up, it wasn't a voice he recognized.

"Hello?"

"Um... Hello. Who is this?"

"This is Michael, right? I take it you're looking for Ray."

"Yeah. I'd still like to know who this is."

"I'm Gavin." So _this_ was Gavin -- the dorky British guy that Michael had seen in so many Youtube videos. He probably should have guessed from the accent, but he was too distracted right now. "Ray's not available right now."

"Can I ask why not?"

"If you need to know, he came to my house at five this morning an absolute mess. He didn't sleep at all last night but I finally managed to put him to bed an hour ago. You really did him in."

A lump swelled in Michael's throat and he swallowed hard. "I didn't mean to-- Is he okay? I really need to tell him I fucked up."

"Yeah, you do. And no, he's not. But he needs to sleep right now. I can let you know when he gets up, if you want." Michael heard another British voice in the background say, "Who's that?" and Gavin responded, away from the receiver, "The asshole kid that hung up on Ray." Making good first impressions didn't seem to be Michael's strong suit.

"Please do," he said, and he gave Gavin his phone number.

"Alright. Got it."

"Thank you," Michael started to say, but Gavin had hung up on him. He sighed and turned on his TV before lying down on his couch, not wanting to watch it, but not wanting to let the silence drive him crazy either.

—————————————————————————————————————

He'd almost dozed off completely when a buzz from his pocket jerked him awake. It was a text from a number he didn't have as a contact, Gavin.

_He's waking up._

It had almost been two hours since he'd talked on the phone with Gavin, meaning Ray had only slept for about three hours total. He felt extremely guilty again for causing all of this and it made him want to call Ray and apologize even more. He took a deep breath and tapped Ray's phone number to call him.

Surprisingly, it only took two rings for Ray to pick up, but he didn't say anything when he answered.

"Hello...?" Michael said, hoping Ray would respond to him.

"Hi."

Things were awkward and tense, and it was terrible because Michael had never had to feel this way around Ray before. It was his fault, though, for abandoning the situation altogether and expecting everything to be fine afterwards.

"Hey, Ray." A few more awkward seconds of silence passed. "You haven't, uhh, slept very much, have you?"

"Nope."

He cleared his throat. This was going to be hard. "I saw your texts. You seemed pretty upset, is everything alright?"

"If you're asking if I hurt myself or something, then no. All that happened was a bunch of lame-ass sobbing and shit."

Michael's heart dropped. "I am so sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

"I shouldn't have just left like that. I don't know why I did; I was just... freaking out."

Ray sighed. "I know the thought of me liking you is pretty fucking terrifying and all--"

"Ray, it's not that. I was scared, but I was scared because I fucking like you back."

The line was silent for a few long seconds. " _Why?_ " Ray mocked in a light-hearted way, but Michael decided to answer him anyway.

"Because you genuinely care about me, and no one's ever given me that sort of attention. Because when I think about someone I'd spend the rest of my time with if I had to, I'd choose you. Because sometimes when I'm sitting on my couch and just texting you about random shit or talking to you on Skype, it's like you're actually there, and because the thought of you being there next to me is something I really actually enjoy. When you told me that, I panicked, because when I think about you, I don't think of you as some crush. I think of you as someone that I wouldn't mind being close to; and not close, like, we just talk on a regular basis, but _close_ like when I'm lying in bed I can look over and you'd be there and we'd say goodnight and it wouldn't just be through a goddamn computer screen like it has been. I just really, really like you, and I'm sorry."

On the other end, Ray was speechless. When he finally came to terms, he just said, "Wow."

"Wow...?"

"Michael, I feel the exact same way. It's fine, it's all good. I just didn't want you to hate me."

"Well, obviously, I could never hate you," he responded with a laugh. "So does this make us...?"

"Yes, Michael?" Ray asked, wanting to hear him say it.

Michael smiled. "Would you like to be my boyfriend, Ray Narvaez Jr.?"

"Hmmm, let me think about--"

" _Ray!_ " he shouted, and Ray giggled.

"I would love to be your boyfriend, Michael Jones."


	7. Across The Map - Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They still had so many moments to share and in days, weeks, months time, this would just be a stepping stone. This was just a little reminder that great things don’t come without sacrifice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to bring some feelings into this… I hope you enjoy! :)

Dating. The word itself made Ray smile like an idiot. They were _dating_.

He couldn't believe it. It wasn't the most traditional situation, yeah -- but they were in a relationship. Michael was his boyfriend. Ray didn't have a whole lot of friends (that he knew in person); he pretty much only talked to Gavin and Dan, and sometimes he'd socialize with an occasional acquaintance. Their acceptance, although he didn't plan to admit it, was really important to him. He didn't even communicate with his relatives, so they were practically the only family he had. They stuck with him through high school and never once did they fail to stand by his side. When he broke the news to them, he expected excitement, or maybe congratulations.

"You're fucking joking, right?"

This is not what Ray expected.

"Uhh, no. Michael and I are dating."

Gavin frowned and stared at him with disbelief, his arms crossed as he leaned against the couch. "Why on earth did you say yes? He's no good for you."

Dan nudged Gavin's side and spoke up. "Gav, stop. He's happy. Let him be." Ray appreciated Dan's support, but Gavin didn't stop.

"He doesn't know what he's doing. He's just falling into this asshole's trap."

"Michael is not an asshole. He did something stupid but that was one time and he apologized for it. You're supposed to be here for me, Gavin, what the hell is the problem?"

"You met this guy online! How do you know he isn't just fucking with you? I don't like him. He's disrespectful, and--"

"I don't fucking care." Ray stood up from his seat in their living room. "You're my best friend. All I'm asking is that you support my decision, like it or not."

Dan nervously stared at his hands and Gavin sat upright. "I'm not going to support something I don't approve of, Ray."

Ray stood there for a few moments, waiting for Gavin to say something, to correct himself or take it back. They both just looked at him expectantly.

"I've been walked out on before," Ray said. "What's one more time gonna do?"

He turned around and left through the front door, cutting off Dan's plead to come back with a loud slam.

—————————————————————————————————————

"Why would he do that? That's so unfair."

"I don't know. He's just being a stubborn prick." Ray sighed. "But whatever, as long as you're here, it's all fine."

Michael smiled into his webcam and it just reassured Ray that he was worth it. Something about the boy's smile just drowned out the negativity around him.

"I'm really sorry. I'm sure he'll come around." Michael rested his elbow on his desk and held his head in his hand. "I haven't gotten the best feedback, either."

Ray raised an eyebrow. "What? What happened?"

"People saw my relationship change on Facebook and it didn't go over well. A few guys from high school were leaving comments calling me a fag, which is, you know, whatever. I'm not friends with them so I just deleted their comments and removed them from my list. But my father called me."

Ray's heart dropped. He watched as Michael stared at his keyboard, hesitating to continue.

"He said he was disappointed that I 'made that choice' and that he wished I could go to Heaven with him. And that God will punish me for my sins if I don't quit being gay." Michael's voice quivered with a mixture of sadness and anger and all Ray could do was look at him on the screen.

"I dunno, we've never been close, but it still stung. My family always kinda just knew I was gay even though I didn't come out. I just didn't date anyone and no one brought it up because God forbid I'm a faggot who embarrasses their friends at church."

Ray's words caught in his throat. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Michael. You're an amazing person and you don't deserve that."

"Yeah?" Michael said. A little smirk formed on his lips. "How amazing?"

"You mean, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Michael giggled, but Ray kept going.

"I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light."

"Have you actually memorized--"

"I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely as they turn from praise. I love thee with a passion put to use in my old griefs and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints -- I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life -- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death."

Michael grinned at him with disbelief. "Are you serious?"

Ray nodded. "I'm kind of a poetry geek."

"Wow." Michael shook his head. "You are such a fucking nerd."

They laughed together, and for a moment, everything felt okay. Their thoughts flowed together and their breaths complemented each other and their abandonment by everyone else was irrelevant.

They were okay.

—————————————————————————————————————

Their first day as boyfriends proved to be a rocky one, but it was a beginning. They still had so many moments to share and in days, weeks, months time, this would just be a stepping stone. This was just a little reminder that great things don't come without sacrifice.

And Ray was still excited; he was still ecstatic that he and Michael were an official pair, but they weren't together. At least, not in every sense of the word. They could call each other, video chat, instant message, text, stream video, play games online, and send pictures all they wanted -- it still didn't provide a substance. There was only one thing that stood in the way: distance.

He almost resented the fact that what separated him and Michael from most couples was that the others could touch, and they couldn't. He couldn't wake up and sling a lazy arm around Michael in the morning, breathing words of affection against his neck until he could feel goosebumps rise. He couldn't hold hands with Michael in public and stroke a thumb across his knuckles and feel the bones move in his fingers. He couldn't connect their mouths and feel the source of every soft word that Michael had ever said to him against his tongue and upon his own lips.

And it's not like two hours was a far distance. But that wasn't the point -- any day he could decide to just pack his bags, say "fuck it" and make the drive up to Michael's house, but it wasn't that easy. This technological connection between the two of them was all they knew; it was what they had built their relationship on. The very thought of seeing Michael in person, a sight that didn't need to be measured by a numerical pixel value, sent Ray's heart beating too fast to handle. What would he do when they first stood in front of each other? Would he fuck up and be super awkward; would Michael be able to fill the trail of uncomfortable silences he left like they did already? When would it be appropriate to kiss, to hold each other and try to pretend they weren't feeling the fabric of each other's clothing against their skin for the first time in their lives?

It stressed him out. It wasn't a dreadful kind of stress, like having to speak in front of a crowd of people or being interviewed for a job, but it still gave him a sick feeling that he couldn't shake. He'd like to think it was pure anticipation, but he was nervous. He'd spend hours just imagining what their first encounter would be like. Shaky hands, dry throats, sweaty palms, fast heartbeats, stammered words. He was okay with that, though. Just another stepping stone. It was nothing they couldn't push past.

He was excited, but he was ridden with anxiety, but he couldn't wait, but he wanted to hide. It was an endless battle of thoughts, and they only dared to subside when Michael's voice passed through his speakers and filled the air around him. No matter how badly he wanted to just disappear to avoid any possible embarrassment, Michael always anchored him back to the fact that this is what they've been waiting for. This what all of their long days and even longer nights were building up to. Nobody could take this away from them; they wouldn't let it happen.

He found solace in the fact that their future wasn't depending on time or distance but on how they felt about each other.

And they felt amazing.


	8. Across The Map - Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted to be home, talking to Ray and watching some stupid movie. He shouldn’t have left. Why did he leave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody say angst…? Hope you like it!!

Days came and went since their new relationship started. Gavin and Dan left for Hawaii without updating Ray on anything; it was just too awkward and tense. After much convincing, though, Dan finally got Gavin to give Ray a call. He asked how he was doing and how Michael was doing and if anything new had happened -- all the boring stuff. Eventually, he stammered out an apology, and Ray accepted it without hesitation. He was tired of having an uncomfortable vibe with Gavin, and Gavin knew that even if he didn't like Michael, he still had to support his best friend and be happy for him.

Things with Michael hadn't really changed. They were boyfriends, but they still played games, talked on Skype, and everything else just like they had when they were friends. At one point, Ray felt like he was obligated to call him some pet name or something -- babe? honey? sweetie? -- but as soon as he tried one out on Michael, it was returned with a loud fit of laughter and "you're an idiot".

On Michael's end, things were okay. His family was giving him the cold shoulder, except for his brother, but he was already used to that. He was even able to keep a few friends after the news of his relationship had spread. Mostly, though, he just thought about Ray and how thankful he was for him. He loved him in the deepest, most genuine, and cheesiest way imaginable.

One particularly boring night, Geoff interrupted Michael's video call with Ray to ask him out for drinks with some other guys. After a glance of approval from Ray, Michael agreed and planned to meet him downtown in half an hour. He said goodbye to Ray and set off to go get ready. Ray didn't text Michael when he was out with friends because he respected his space and he knew that he'd be told all about it later.

It didn't take Michael too long to get ready since he'd already prepped himself for the video call, so he was soon out the door and driving to the bar. He was actually kind of excited. He hadn't left his house to socialize with anyone but Geoff for a few weeks now since a number of his close friends left him for being gay. He was totally fine with it since he was more than willing to sacrifice for Ray -- they obviously weren't _real_ friends, anyway. It was just nice to see more people in person every once in a while.

He showed up to the bar and immediately found Geoff inside. Geoff nudged a few people next to him and they all turned around. He gave them a quick introduction to Michael and Michael nodded to them, trying to take note of their names which he would forget later on anyway. He declined Geoff's offer for a drink and pulled out his wallet to buy his own beer, and soon they were all occupying their own spot near a wall.

To say Michael felt out of place was an understatement. Something about these guys just didn't feel right to him. They were all a little bit taller, a little more built, a little more... confident. He knew that Geoff knew them somehow, but he still wasn't comforted by the idea. He did his best to nervously smile at them and laugh at their jokes as he downed two beers during conversation. He figured he would feel a little better with alcohol in his system, and as he verged on the edge of drunk and tipsy, he realized he was right.

Midway through one of their conversations that Michael was pretending to listen to, one of them turned to him.

"How about you, kid?" he asked with a little smirk. Something about his tone made Michael uneasy; it wasn't very inviting, it was almost condescending.

Since he was paying absolutely no attention to their previous words, he didn't know what he was being asked. "I'm sorry, what?" he muttered with an apologetic laugh.

"What about you, have you banged any hot chicks lately?"

Michael swallowed hard and watched as Geoff shifted his focus to his bottle, swirling it around nervously. "Ahh, no. I'm with someone, actually."

"Yeah?" the guy responded, towering over Michael. "What, you don't fuck your girl?"

Michael winced at the wording. He cleared his throat and tried to play dumb. "What was that? Sorry, I can't really hea--"

"You don't _fuck_ your _girl_?" the guy repeated, even more disgustingly this time.

There was no way out of this one. The buzz in him preventing him from even considering the option to lie, but he probably wouldn't have anyway since it wasn't really fair to Ray. "No," Michael mumbled. "I have a boyfriend."

Michael might as well have told the guy he was a serial killer and harbored the bodies in the floorboards directly beneath them. He looked utterly offended and pissed off. "A _boyfriend_?"

"Yeah." Michael took a step back and clutched his beer tight. He didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted to be home, talking to Ray and watching some stupid movie. He shouldn't have left. Why did he leave?

—————————————————————————————————————

Ray decided to spend his time alone watching TV. He wished Michael was there to make commentary and mock the characters, but he was also glad that he was out having fun. Some time alone wouldn't kill Ray. It was actually kind of relaxing.

He even took the time to go to the kitchen, pour a glass of milk, put chocolate syrup in it and mix it up. He returned to the couch with his chocolate milk and curled up against the cushions with two blankets wrapped around him. Every time a character said something stupid, he laughed out loud and wondered what Michael would say to make a joke out of it.

It was dark and it was warm and everything except for the television was quiet. He let out a lengthy yawn and stretched out across the couch. This was nice -- he was enjoying himself, Michael was enjoying himself, and he had chocolate milk. There really wasn't anything else he could ask for.

—————————————————————————————————————

"I didn't know I'd be here with a _flamer_ tonight."

Michael bit his tongue and just took another sip from his beer. He didn't know what else to do.

"Fucking faggot. I'd bet you wished you weren't here right now, I bet you wish you were off sucking some dick."

The two other guys awarded his behavior with a round of laughter. Geoff just stood there, frozen and not daring to lift his eyes from his hands. Michael squeezed his bottle and just stared at the guy.

"How's your boyfriend? You got some twink? I bet he loves taking it up the a--"

That was it. That was the last of Michael's tolerance.

The next thing he knew, the guy was tumbling backwards and clutching at his nose. Michael thought he could see some blood already starting to pool on the ground, but he barely had the chance to look up before his gaze was met with a fast-moving fist to the face.

He didn't remember falling or hitting his head on a chair or lying there on the ground.  He didn’t remember the way his blood painted people’s shoes. He didn’t remember the ambulance ride.

He just knew he should've stayed home.


	9. Across The Map - Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He should be getting up and taking the next bus to Jersey, but he couldn’t; he fucking couldn’t and he felt like a coward for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy drugged-out Michael! c;

"Hello, this is Jane from St. Michael's Medical Center. Is this Ray Narvaez Jr.?"

A lump swelled in Ray's throat. This wasn't supposed to happen -- he wasn't supposed to get this call. Michael hadn't responded in a couple of hours but he'd figured it was just because he was busy.

"Ye--Yeah. Yeah, it is. Why? Is something wrong?"

"We currently have Michael Jones in the ICU --"

"What happened?" Ray jumped off the couch and started pacing his apartment. He didn't know what to do. What was he supposed to do in this situation?

"Please don't worry, sir. He's fine."

Ray let out a huge sigh and leaned against the counter.

"Well, he will be."

Ray frowned.

"He came in about half an hour ago. He had a sizeable gash on his head and the doctors think his nose may be broken. He has a slight concussion but he's under close watch and he should be okay."

"I guess that's... good..." He ran his free hand through his hair. "What happened?"

"We're still gathering information but so far we've heard that he got in a fight with a man at the bar. From my understanding, the man hit him in the nose and he hit his head on the fall down."

Ray chewed at his lip. He felt like he should be doing something, anything, to help.

"But like I said, he'll be okay. He's just a bit banged up. His friend Geoff told us to contact you."

"When can I talk to him?"

"As soon as the doctors finish bandaging him up and get him settled. He has his cell phone, so I'd advise to just let him call you when he's ready, okay?" Her tone was soft and she quieted. "Look, I'm really sorry. I know you want to be by his side right now but I promise everything will be fine."

Ray rubbed at his eyes. "Thank you. I'll just... wait."

"Alright. Hang in there."

So he waited.

—————————————————————————————————————

It was little over an hour that Ray had to sit on the couch in agony and wait. He couldn't focus on games or TV and he didn't want to do anything else. He wanted to talk to Michael. The distance was sickening him, even more than it usually did.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when his ringtone went off next to him. It buzzed into the couch and he immediately reached to pick it up. He unlocked the screen and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Heyyy!"

Ray grinned at Michael's voice. It was a little more zoned-out than usual, but he cherished it and he wanted to listen to it for hours. "Michael, are you okay?"

Michael giggled a little harder than necessary and Ray could hear him fumbling with the phone. "I'm _peachy keen_ , darling!"

Ray raised an eyebrow. "They really drugged you up, didn't they?"

"I told 'em, _'gimme the good stuff_ ,' and they did not fail to deliver." Geoff's laughter could be heard in the background. "I feel like I'm flying. Geoff, am I flying?" Michael's voice faded a little as he faced Geoff and Ray could hear him say, "No."

"I'm glad you're okay." That's all Ray really needed to tell Michael. He felt so helpless.

"Aww, me too, babe." His words slurred together as he spoke. "I think I go home tonight. I miss you."

Even though the two sentences weren't really related, Ray could tell he was being heartfelt. "I miss you too, Michael." He took a deep breath. "Hey, do you need anything? Really, I could drive down there. It's not that far, I mean..."

"No, no, you stay there."

"Are you sure? You don't need me there right now?"

"Ray, this isn't how I want us to first meet. Plus, I want to be hot when you see me, and right now I'm all purple and blood red and shit."

Ray laughed. "You'll always be a hottie-with-a-body, Michael. But I understand. I just wish I could help."

"You _are_ helping! Just talking to me; it makes me feel a whole lot better. I think I'm flying again."

He couldn't help but blush a bit and laugh again at Michael's drugged-up state. "Well I'm glad to help. I should probably let you go, I'm sure there are doctors all over you."

"Yeah, one just came in." His voice faded again as he leaned away from the receiver. "I'm talking to my boyfriend!" He sounded like a giddy little kid and Ray smiled wide.

"Call me in the morning, okay? I love you."

"I love you more. Shh. Shhh."

He laughed as Michael hung up and he put his phone away.

When he went to bed, he couldn't help but think about everything again. When he got the first call from the hospital, he was panicking. His first instinct was to grab a jacket and rush out the door to go visit him, but he couldn't. That's what bugged him, too -- he _could_ , physically; but like Michael said, is that really what they wanted their first time seeing each other to be?

_You could still go right now._

_Why are you in bed? Get the fuck up. Put on a sweatshirt, leave._

_You have time. It's only a couple of hours._

He should be next to Michael. He should be getting up and taking the next bus to Jersey, but he couldn't; he fucking couldn't and he felt like a coward for it. Geoff would be there with him sitting next to the hospital bed as doctors came in and flushed out his wound and stuck him with needles but he wouldn’t be. He'd be wincing with pain until he was so high out of his mind that he was numb, and Ray couldn't even hold his goddamn hand. He tried not to focus on the negative so much, though -- Michael was okay and he was going to be okay and everything was going to be okay. He just wanted to make things easier on him.

He'd make it up to him, though. He knew just how to make him feel better.


	10. Across The Map - Part 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, well that’s cool, ‘cause I, uh… I wanted to try something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have nothing to say about this chapter except warning: NSFW.

Michael had been given the OK to go home and Ray waited until the next day to talk to him. He needed his rest for the night and Ray knew that he'd be too distracted if he kept a conversation going.

Ray took the morning to go ahead and clean his room. He wanted things to be comfortable later -- well, as comfortable as they could be. He gathered a pile of clothes from his floor and threw them into the washing machine, vacuumed, made his bed, and sprayed some Febreeze to finish. He felt accomplished, as long as he didn't look at the rest of his apartment.

It was around 4 PM when Ray decided to give Michael a call. Michael had already texted him a bunch of times but he wanted to wait it out and make sure he was excited to hear his voice today. It would pay off later.

Michael picked up as soon as it started to ring. "Hey! Where've you been?"

"Sorry, I was cleaning up my apartment. It's gotten pretty messy lately. How you feeling?"

Michael sighed. "Okay. It hurts a lot. And I hardly remember anything."

"I'm sorry, kid." Ray smirked. "You sure fucked that guy up, though."

"Yeah," he muttered. "He deserved it."

"What happened?"

"I told him I had a boyfriend. He kept fucking with me about it but when he started talking shit about you I just lost it."

Ray frowned. "What--What a douchebag!" he snapped.

Michael hummed with agreement. "It's fine, though. I'm fine. Well, not physically, but whatever."

"I'm sorry," he stated. "I don't want to cause--"

"Don't even start that shit, Ray."

Ray sighed. "I'm just really sorry."

"I know. Don't worry about it, though! Geoff's providing me with meds and Subway!"

Ray laughed. "So, uh, is he there right now?"

"No," he responded. "He's at work right now."

Ray cleared his throat. "Oh, well that's cool, 'cause I, uh... I wanted to try something."

"What?" Michael asked, curious now.

"I just wish I could make you feel better, you know? I wish I could be there, and I wanted to make it up to you."

Michael was starting to catch on. "Yeah? How would you do that...?"

"Well I guess I'd start by kissing that headwound of yours."

"There's a bandage on it," Michael replied, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Shut the fuck up!" Ray laughed with him, but tried to regain his composure. "And I'd, uh... I'd kiss down to your neck. Avoiding your black eye, of course."

"That's kind of you," Michael said, his voice trailing off as he transitioned from sarcastic to in the moment.

"I'd start kissing your neck and sucking on your sweet spot -- if you have one, that is."

"Yeah." Michael grinned on the other line. "On the left, a bit under my jaw."

"On the left, a bit under your jaw," Ray repeated. "And I'd slide a hand up under your shirt."

Michael followed his words, already reaching towards the hem of his T-shirt. "Would you take it off?"

"Yeah, we don't need it." Ray paused to let Michael remove his shirt and he took his own off as well. "And after I took mine off too, I'd start at your chest and trail down."

Michael bit his lip and grazed his fingers over his chest. He didn't have anything to add, so Ray continued.

"Then when I got to your jeans -- shorts?"

"Jeans," Michael confirmed.

"When I got to your jeans, I'd unzip them and pull them down so I could feel you through your boxers."

He could hear Michael start to breathe heavier and gave him a second to follow along.

"I'd... I'd reach in and wrap a hand around you." He took this time to slip his own hand down his boxers.

"Yeah?" Michael replied with shallow breaths, and his voice pushed Ray to keep going.

"I'd start stroking up and down, making sure you were okay with the pace."

"I'm okay with it," Michael muttered.

"And I'd get faster and faster, and maybe tease the head a bit--"

"F- _Fuck_ ," Michael groaned on the other end, and Ray could tell they were on the same page. They continued with heavy breaths and small gasps until they reached climax, Michael finishing before Ray with an embarrassingly load moan. Ray gave a disgusted look when he realized he just came onto his own stomach, but he shrugged it off.

He took a few more seconds to catch his breath before speaking. "So did that--"

"You made it up to me. Fuck." Ray laughed, but he was just thankful that it all went according to plan.

"You deserved it."

"Hey, listen, I think I'm gonna go take a shower. I, uh..."

"Yeah..." Ray glanced down at himself. "I got you."

Michael gave a slight laugh and sighed. "I love you, Ray."

They'd said they loved each other before, but this time it felt different. Something about the inflection in Michael's voice and the way he said it. It just kind of... clicked.

"I love you too, Michael." Ray would have been blushing if his face wasn't already flushed. "Go clean up."

"I will!"

With that, Michael hung up, leaving Ray to think about the mess on his skin, the fact that they just had phone sex, and Michael's genuine " _I love you_ ".


	11. Across The Map - Part 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I dunno, we’ve been dating a while and I think we’ve got a pretty solid thing here. Don’t you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! Sorry that it’s a day late, but I hope the wait was worth it! Enjoy :)

Ray's "phone call" had ended up making them feel closer together. They hadn't really talked about it since then but the way they talked together just felt more comfortable; it flowed better, they felt no need to fill in any gaps. Things had also started to settle down now that Michael's wounds were healing and no other problems had cropped up. Gavin and Dan had returned from Hawaii and the tension had died down between them and Ray, so they still hung out on a regular basis. Things were great. Ray and Michael had their "Skype dates" almost every night and played video games and talked on the phone. They weren't going to let the distance get to them anymore.

Ray sat on his couch and Michael sat on his bed as they talked to each other on their webcams. Michael's hair was starting to grow out and form messy curls -- this meant that Ray saw less of his hair and more of his beanies, but he thought it was adorable either way, so he didn’t mind. He'd been allowed to take the bandage off so now the little line of stitches on his forehead was visible, and his black eye had faded quite a bit. Ray, however, still looked the same as he did since day one.

Michael wasn't wearing a beanie tonight and he ran a hand through his curls as he spoke. "Ray, I need to, uh... I need to talk to you about something."

Michael's expression was serious, but Ray couldn't think of anything that had gone wrong. He sat up straight and gave Michael his full attention. "What is it?"

"I was just thinking..." Michael was nervously playing with his hands. "I dunno, we've been dating a while and I think we've got a pretty solid thing here." He looked up to watch Ray's face on the screen. "Don't you?"

Ray nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it's great. Things are going awesome."

"I agree." Michael smiled back to him but kept fidgeting. "I've just been getting so tired of this distance. I love you so much, Ray. And right now, I'm not scared to say that I'm in love with you."

_I'm in love with you._

The words slowly processed and made Ray's breath catch in his throat. Hearing Michael's voice speak the same thing he'd been feeling for months now made him ecstatic, and he just stared back at the boy's nervous, bruised face. He could feel a grin starting to spread and he tried not to blush, but he did anyway.

"I'm -- I'm in love with you, too, Michael."

Michael's smile mimicked Ray's and for a moment, they just soaked in each other's giddy happiness. Michael still had more to say, though, so he started to continue.

"That brings up another thing, actually."

Ray braced himself. He didn't know how much more emotion he could handle at this point.

Michael hesitated as he searched for the words to say, but he finally blurted it out. "I think we should meet each other because I really want to see you and I think it'd be worth it and I'm not trying to rush anything so tell me if you feel uncomfortable but I just thought --"

" _Michael_ ," Ray cut him off as he laughed at his embarrassed rambling. "I think we should meet, too. I've been thinking about it for a while, actually."

"Really?" Michael's tone was excited and his eyes lit up. "Thank god. I really, really want to see you. It feels like... It feels like I miss you, but I've never even met you in person."

"I know that feeling. It really fucking sucks." Ray sighed. "But this needs to happen; I'm totally up for it."

Michael nodded. "I kind of made some plans already..." Ray smiled, but Michael couldn't help his eagerness. "I was thinking, if you want to drive down here -- well, get a ride -- we could meet at West Hudson Park. Then maybe go to lunch or something. We'll see from there. If you could get Dan and Gavin to drive you, that'd be great. I can book us a hotel for a night or two. I was thinking maybe next week... Does that sound okay?"

Ray was overwhelmed; not because he didn't like the plans, but because they just made the whole situation so _real_. He had no idea an hour ago that he'd be meeting Michael soon, but he was so grateful now that it would be happening. "Yeah, that... that sounds amazing."

Michael smiled at him. "Great! I hope it all works out. Wow, this is... this is really happening."

Ray laughed and nodded. "Yeah. I can't believe it. But I can't wait."

—————————————————————————————————————

He spent the next six days packing and getting ready to leave. He even got a haircut, just for Michael. His nerves were buzzing; he was so excited, but so nervous. He loved Michael and he didn't want to disappoint him when they met. He wanted to be everything that Michael hoped for and thought he was. He knew he would probably be a stuttering mess when he saw him for the first time, but he just hoped that Michael would understand that this was an extremely important moment for him, and he knew that Michael probably felt the same.

When the day came for him to leave, he was more anxious than ever. He gathered his bags near the door and stood at the window, waiting to see Dan's car pull into the parking lot. After a tense eighteen minutes, his car finally pulled up, and Ray rushed to grab his bags. He ignored the text from Dan in his pocket as he jogged over to the car. They'd already popped the trunk open for him and he piled the luggage into the back. He took a last glance at his apartment and sat in the back seat.

Gavin looked over his shoulder from the passenger seat and smiled at him. "You ready, boy?"

Ray took a deep breath and shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

They set off to the freeway, Gavin blasting obnoxious music and Dan cracking stupid jokes. He was grateful that they agreed to drive him, because even though he was still insanely nervous, they did a great job at calming him down. It was just like driving with them at any other time, except now, he was going to meet his boyfriend. The thought twisted his stomach with anticipation.

He kept a conversation going with Michael through texting and they mostly just talked about how excited they were. The ride would only be two hours, so he didn't have much time to prepare himself. Dan and Gavin tried to make him focus on the exciting aspect of it as they stopped at a McDonald's midway through the drive. Ray did his best to follow their advice and he appreciated their support.

They continued on the road, and before Ray could even process that they were in New Jersey, they were nearing Michael's town. His stomach flipped and turned and he couldn't stop messing with the strings of his sweatshirt.

Dan glanced up at him in the rearview mirror. "Ray, listen -- it's going to be okay. Everything will be great, alright? Don't even stress."

Ray tried to calm his heartbeat. "I know, I just can't help it. This is so fucking nerve-racking."

Gavin reached back and patted his knee. "I know, kid. Just try to relax."

Soon, they were driving through the town that Michael lived in, only minutes away from the park. Ray swallowed hard and called Michael for directions.

"Hello?"

"Hey. We're getting close. Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm on the bridge, you can't miss it." Michael sounded calm; at least, much calmer than Ray was.

Michael told them where to turn and which street to find from where they were, and Dan was able to find the park with no problems. They pulled into the parking lot and Dan turned the car off. The bridge was easily visible a short ways off in the distance. They both watched as Ray took a deep breath and readied himself. After a minute, he cleared his throat and stepped out of the car.

There they were. West Hudson Park.


	12. Across The Map - Part 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His boyfriend, the guy he met over a Call of Duty match months ago, the one that made his head swim just from behind a computer screen, was only feet away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the wait; this chapter took a while to write and I wanted to make sure it was perfect! I hope you guys like this one! I’ve met an online friend in person before so I tried to kind of channel my feelings from then into this. Enjoy! :)

His throat felt tight and his heart beat fast. His stomach was in knots; his hands were shaking and starting to sweat. He started the walk over to the bridge, the very bridge that Michael was standing on. His boyfriend, the guy he met over a Call of Duty match months ago, the one that made his head swim just from behind a _computer screen_ , was only feet away from him. In just a matter of minutes, he'd be seeing the face that he'd come to fall in love with right in front of his own, and he'd hear the voice that said _I love you_ , but not through speakers this time. He was the boy who changed everything. There was nothing that Ray was physically capable of putting into words that would express to Michael how much he loved him and cherished his thoughts and feelings.

Every step felt too fast, everything felt like it was happening all at once, but it still felt like it was in slow-motion. He didn't know what to do with his hands; he put them in his pockets, then took them out, then put them in his sweatshirt, then out again. He glanced back at Dan and Gavin who were only a few steps behind, offering him supportive looks back. He tried not to trip over his own feet with how nervous he was as he continued on the path through the park.

They stepped past the playground and children's squeals and laughter suffocated what used to be quiet air. A little boy nearby tried to build a castle out of dry sand and across the sidewalk, a woman jogged alongside her dog. It was bright outside and sunshine filtered through the leaves above them, making it easier to see when they walked through shade. The light reflected off of the stream ahead of them, making Ray squint behind his glasses to look at the bridge. When his vision was clear enough, he was finally able to make out a figure leaning over the side of the bridge and gazing out at the water. His breath caught in his throat.

By instinct, he started to slow down, but Gavin pushed him forward.

"Go on, Ray," he whispered from behind him.

Ray inhaled deeply and made his way to the end of the bridge. There he was. It was Michael.

He took the rest of the few steps forward and cleared his throat.

Michael's head turned at the sound. Light brown curls peeked out from underneath his two-toned green beanie. A faint layer of freckles could be seen across his cheeks and behind his glasses were deep brown eyes, even brighter than Ray had expected from all the pictures and videos he'd seen. As he recognized Ray and turned to stand up straight, their heights were almost parallel with each other, Michael only being slightly shorter than he was.

What stood out the most to him, though, was Michael's smile. It reached its peak when he processed that Ray was standing in front of him. It revealed a single dimple on the left side and it matched his eyes that lit up at the sight of his boyfriend. Without noticing, Ray's expression mirrored his; a wide smile and excited eyes.

" _Hey!_ " Michael's voice rang in his ears and he was almost startled at the sound. He'd heard it before, but it was so much clearer and enjoyable in person.

Ray broke out of his freeze. "Hi!" It was all he could think of to reply, and before he knew it, Michael was pulling him in for a hug.

He wrapped his arms around Michael's back as Michael slung his over Ray's neck. He tightened his hold within a matter of seconds. The realization hit him like a train: _he was finally touching Michael_. Months of long nights alone in his bed and sad reflections on distance had kept them apart for so long, too fucking long. He didn't know how badly he needed this until it was happening, and once it was, he never wanted to let go. He inhaled the scent from Michael's T-shirt, storing the fresh laundry smell into the back of his mind. He clung at the fabric, feeling it move against his fingertips and hide Michael's skin beneath it, reminding him that their distance had gone from 75 miles to three thin layers of clothing.

They both knew they had to pull away, though, so they slowly let go. When Ray looked up at Michael again, his eyes were glossy and red.

"Awww!" Dan said behind them, making Michael laugh as he wiped at his eyes.

"Nooo, don't do _that!_ " Ray choked out with a few laughs, feeling his nose sting and the tears well up in his own eyes.

"I'm sorry," Michael muttered as a drop streamed down his face. He tried to dry his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I didn't think I'd be fucking crying. Jesus..."

Ray smiled at him and wiped away his own. "We're big babies."

Michael sniffed one last time, and once he'd composed himself, Gavin held out his hand. "I'm Gavin."

Michael smiled at him and shook it. Dan did the same, and Michael shook his hand next. "I'm Dan. Nice to meet you."

He took a deep breath and removed his beanie for a brief second, ruffling his hair and then replacing it. "Well," he sighed, "now that we're done with the cry fest..."

Ray laughed and sighed along with him. "I just can't believe this is finally happening."

"Me neither," Michael agreed. "Shut up, though. I don't wanna cry again." Ray grinned at him, watching the way his mouth moved and his expressions changed.

It was almost surreal. Ray couldn't be more thankful for this, though. It was all that he'd been waiting for and it had only been fifteen minutes.

—————————————————————————————————————

They decided to go get something to eat since it was almost 3:00. Michael had a restaurant in mind and he obviously knew his way around, so the three got their things from Dan's car and packed it into his. Ray sat in the passenger seat and Dan and Gavin sat in the back.

"Ah, you'll love this place, Ray. They have french dips just how you like 'em. They're amazing."

Gavin raised an eyebrow in the back. Over the years he'd learned that Ray was picky with french dips, his favorite food; they had to have just the right amount of roast beef but not too much, and they _must_ be cut diagonally. The fact that Michael already knew this was a surprise to him. They really _did_ share everything, apparently.

Michael pointed out some key points of his hometown to them as they drove through town, and after a few minutes, he parked in the parking lot to a big, busy building.

Ray got out of the car and walked alongside him on the sidewalk. Trying not to be too obvious, Michael bumped his hand against Ray's before lacing their fingers together. Ray was blushing as he smiled at him, and Michael smiled right back. The feeling sent chills down Ray's spine, and he was glad that Michael was brave enough to make the first move.

When they reached the restaurant, they placed their order at the counter and took a seat inside. Ray and Michael sat across from Dan and Gavin.

"So, Michael," Dan began, and Ray held his breath. "What do you do for a living? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"I'm sort of an electrician. I take on certain jobs, so I kind of control my own schedule." As Michael spoke, his hand found Ray's under the table and he laced their fingers together again. Ray tried to keep from smiling, but he didn't do a very good job. "It pays pretty well, though, so I have quite a bit of free time."

"You like it?" Gavin asked, interested in Michael's answers.

Michael's thumb stroked Ray's hand as he continued. "I mean, it's not bad, I guess. I'm not that interested in it. It's kind of a family thing, though."

Gavin nodded and Dan was about to ask another question when a server called out Michael's name. Michael held his free hand up to show where they were sitting and she walked over, serving them their food.

Michael watched as Ray inspected his food carefully to ensure that it was a french dip worthy of his consumption, and when he decided it seemed acceptable to eat, he took a bite. His face lit up and Michael smiled at his surprise.

"That's really good!" Ray said after he finished his mouthful, and Michael just nodded.

"What'd I tell you? It's got the Ray seal of approval."

Dan didn't hesitate to continue his questioning, even when he was eating. "What's your family like?"

Michael swallowed his bite of food and looked up at him. "Well, my parents are Catholic. They've been pretty cool until recently." He shrugged. "My dad's pretending that I don't exist, and my mom's pretending that I'm not gay. It's been kinda rough." Ray gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and Michael gave a little smile. "My brother's fine with it, though, so we're pretty close. We've always been close. I'd love to introduce you guys to him, but he lives in Texas."

"I'm sorry about that, lad," Gavin said. "With your parents, and all. I can't imagine."

Michael nodded a thank you. "It's alright. Things happen, you know? I can't complain, though. Ray's helped me through a lot."

Ray gave him a smile and Dan smiled at the both of them. "For what it's worth, I'm really glad you guys have each other. I mean, I really admire how much you two, you know... love each other."

Gavin nodded. "I've really seen the difference in Ray. You've brought something out in him," he added.

Michael grinned. "I appreciate that. And if I'm making him happy, then I know I'm doing something right."

"Yeah," Ray said, "I'm pretty fantastic."

They all laughed, but they couldn't have agreed more.

—————————————————————————————————————

The rest of the day went by faster than Ray would've liked. They drove around quite a bit, stopping at different shops every now and then to look around. Ray ended up buying a cheesy "I ♥ NJ" shirt as a memento to take home and a few hand-made bracelets. When they were done shopping, they had dinner at a different restaurant that Michael had also recommended. The food was as expensive as it was amazing, and Michael insisted on paying the tab. Dan promised that he'd pay him back somehow, but Michael told him not to worry about it.

After that, they went to the movie theater downtown and saw some new comedy film. It was a great excuse for Michael and Ray to hold hands for two hours, so even though Ray had trouble focusing on the movie itself, he loved every minute of it.

When it started to get late, they decided to end the day and head to the hotel. They'd all had enough excitement and emotions for one day, and Ray didn't know if he could stay awake another minute. The hotel was a nice one, obviously meant for tourists. Ray, Dan and Gavin carried their bags and stood behind Michael in the lobby as he checked them in.

"Hey, so I got us two rooms, if that's alright," Michael said, holding out a key card to Dan and Gavin. They were fine with it and Gavin took the card as they made their way to the elevator. Michael and Ray were going to be staying on the third floor and Dan and Gavin were going to be on the fifth floor. When the elevator reached the third floor, there was a _ding_ and the doors slid open.

Michael picked up one of Ray's bags for him and started walking to the room. When he looked back, Ray was leaning against the wall, nodding off already. He laughed and walked back as Gavin hit him awake. His eyes flashed open and he blinked against the light.

"Sorry! I-I'm coming," he mumbled as he stepped off the elevator.

When Michael turned around again, Gavin whispered to Ray. Ray looked back at him from the hallway.

Gavin pointed at Michael, then pointed at him, then made a thrusting motion with his hips. Ray just rolled his eyes and followed Michael as Dan hit Gavin's arm and the elevator doors closed.

Michael swiped the key card and entered the room, closely followed by Ray. They set the bags down by the door and Ray unzipped one, pulling out a pair of pajama pants, a toothbrush, and tooth paste.

"I'll be right back," Ray said as he made his way to the bathroom.

"Okay," Michael responded, and he shot him a smile.

Ray changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth, only taking a few minutes. When he walked back out into the bedroom, Michael had changed into sweatpants and was lying on the bed with his head propped on a pillow and his laptop on top of him. Ray walked over and laid down next to him.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked quietly.

"Updatin' my status," Michael replied with Facebook open in front of him. He was getting notifications like crazy and Ray looked up to see what it said.

_Finally got to meet Ray today. It feels like home. Worth every second apart._

Ray smiled wide and slung his arm across Michael's stomach, pressing his face into his side. "I wouldn't trade this for the world," he mumbled into Michael's shirt.

Michael shut his laptop and put it on the nightstand next to him, alongside his glasses. He stroked Ray's hair with one hand and grabbed Ray's hand with the other.

"Me neither," he said. Ray smiled against the fabric and gave a small hum of happiness.

"Ray," he whispered down to him.

"What?" Ray whispered back.

"I think we should sleep _under_ the covers."

Ray groaned about the fact that he had to move, but he agreed. Michael turned off the lights and Ray moved off the bed, setting his glasses down and pulling back the covers to join him underneath. Michael pressed against the back of him and rested an arm over his waist. He planted small kisses against the back of Ray's neck, giving him goosebumps. Ray placed his hand on top of Michael’s and smiled.

"Goodnight," Ray murmured into the dark. "I love you."

"I love you too," Michael murmured back.  “Goodnight.”


	13. Across The Map - Part 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were so many things he couldn’t experience through a computer and three days weren’t going to completely fill the void. They both knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would’ve had this posted yesterday but I was feeling sick, so here you go!! I hope you like it! :)

Ray was awoken with a swift pillow to the face.

It took him a second to remember where he was and who he was with, but when it all sank in, he couldn't help but smile. Michael was standing at the foot of the bed giggling at him. He stretched his arms out and propped himself up on his shoulders.

"Get up! We have shit to do." Michael was already wide awake and alert. He was shirtless, too, which was a plus.

In any other situation, Ray would have groaned and hid himself under the covers, but he didn't mind the rude awakening today. He was excited to spend more time with his boyfriend and he wanted to make the most of it.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked as he sat up and pulled the covers off of him.

"Breakfast. There's this pancake shop downtown that sells _the_ best fucking pancakes you'll ever have in your life. I only go there for special occasions." Much to Ray's dismay, he grabbed a T-shirt from his suitcase and pulled it on.

"So I'm a special occasion?" he asked, trying not to smile.

Michael smiled and glanced at him from the mirror. "If there ever was one."

—————————————————————————————————————

Once they'd arrived to the pancake shop, they decided to sit outside and grabbed a small table out front. Their waitress came to take their order, and Ray ordered pancakes with a variety of fruit while Michael ordered a dish covered in all kinds of chocolate.

Hearing Michael's voice in person was still astounding to him and he couldn't get over the fact that this was actually reality. He couldn't ask for a better start to the day with one of Michael's stories filling the air as sunlight shined down on them and people walked by on the sidewalk. It was beautiful, and he was beautiful, and if he could make one moment last forever, it would've been that one.

"...so I guess that's why I don't really trust birds anymore. I mean, from a distance it's cool, but being trapped in one's cage -- never again."

Ray laughed as he wrapped up his story. Michael always had the best experiences to share and it seemed like he'd never run out of things to reminisce over. Maybe he was just good at storytelling, or maybe Ray just liked hearing him talk -- either way, he couldn't get enough of it.

Their food arrived and a grin spread on Ray's face at the sight of the plates. His pancakes were stacked high, laced with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and about every kind of fruit that Ray could even name. Michael's, on the other hand, were smothered with chocolate syrup, chocolate chips, and white chocolate shavings. Ray could feel his teeth hurt just looking at it.

"So what do you think of Dan and Gavin?" Ray asked as he brought a forkful of food to his mouth.

"They're great!" Ray internally sighed with relief. "Dan asks a lot of questions, which I admire. Someone's got to. He seems kind of like a dad or something. Gavin seems a little more wary, but I don't blame him. It is a big deal and all; plus, we didn't exactly get off on the right foot."

Ray nodded. "Yeah. That's the past, though. I think he's let it go for the most part. He's just protective. Dan kind of keeps him in line, so to speak."

Michael smiled and laughed. "So they're an old married couple?"

Ray forked some of the fruit on his plate and dipped it into Michael's chocolate. "Pretty damn much."

When they were finished, Michael paid for the meal and they both started walking back to the car.

"Where to now?" Ray asked as he reached to hold Michael's hand.

Michael smiled at him and gave his hand a slight squeeze. "I actually have a place I want to show you."

They walked past the car and Ray raised an eyebrow. "We're not driving there?"

"Nope," Michael replied. "Just follow me."

They took a turn down a short alley and Ray followed Michael behind a building that was pressed against a gathering of trees -- to call it a forest would be generous, but it was thick enough to block the view behind it.

"Where are we going?" Ray pouted as he stepped over twigs and dodged branches through something that probably used to be a trail but was now grown over with greenery.

"You'll see! We're almost there. Don't be a baby. Or should I say, a _ray_ -by..." Michael giggled under his breath as they made their way through the trees.

"Jesus christ," Ray muttered, hardly willing to offer a laugh at such a terrible joke.

After a minute, they'd finally reached a clearing. A small stream snaked through the grass and flowed towards something Ray could hardly make out in the distance. It was a small, empty space with unkempt grass, but it wasn't very quiet with the noise of Jersey traffic behind them. It was still a gorgeous place, though, and Ray could see why Michael had led them to it.

He didn't really know what to say, so he just followed Michael and sat with him at the edge of the stream.

"You see that over there?" Michael pointed towards the thing that Ray couldn't quite identify in the distance, and he nodded. "That's the bridge. The one where we met. West Hudson Park's just a little ways over there. This is where the water kind of dies down."

Ray just nodded again. He still didn't know what to say, so he let the silence speak for him as he ran a thumb across Michael's hand and gazed at the pebbles underneath the water. Michael reached his free hand into the stream and felt the water rush through his fingers, filling the spaces between them like Ray was with his other hand. Ray watched him and studied the way his eyes twitched behind his glasses as they shifted focus from one object to another. To think that this was what he'd been missing for months now killed him. He wanted so badly just to stay with Michael and learn about him -- not through words and anecdotes, but through physical movements and actions. He wanted to memorize the way his face shifted into a grin at the punchline of a joke and the different octaves of his voice depending on his mood. There were so many things he couldn't experience through a computer and three days weren't going to completely fill the void. They both knew that.

"You know," he started, almost flinching at his own voice as it broke the silence. Michael pulled his hand out of the water and wiped it on his jeans, turning to look at him as he spoke.

Ray cleared his throat. "We haven't... We haven't kissed yet."

Michael smiled at him and nodded. "You're right."

Ray didn't know how else to introduce the idea, so he found himself just leaning closer and closer, soon followed by Michael. It was slow, Ray making sure he was positioned just right so that he wouldn't mess up, and he could feel his nerves buzzing inside of him. It's not like it was surprising that this was happening since they'd been dating for months and they were finally together and it was probably what most people did _first_ when they met in this kind of situation -- but it was, because everything was so surreal, and every moment that passed was something that Ray had built up an idea of for such a long time now. His heart was racing but it felt like it stopped when their lips finally met.

Everything either of them had ever imagined about their first kiss was being poured into this one, and it showed as the kiss deepened. Their mouths fit together perfectly and it was sweet, it was amazing; it sent a jolt down Ray's spine. They renewed it to experience it all over again, and then once more just for good measure.

When they finally pulled away, Ray's mind was in a fog. Anything they did over the phone couldn't compare to what this felt like. It was a real, physical gesture, and nothing could replace that.

" _Fuck_ ," Michael muttered, and Ray giggled. He knew that this was going to be something he'd remember forever, and he knew that he'd feel as euphoric as he did, and he knew that Michael would end it with some sort of startled profanity.

He wouldn't have had it any other way.

—————————————————————————————————————

They took their time with staying at the stream, practicing kissing and pretending that Ray wasn't going to be leaving the state anytime soon. They knew they had to get back to the hotel before Dan and Gavin started worrying, though, so they had to find the willpower to get up and leave. As Ray started through the trail behind Michael, he glanced back at the stream and the trees and the bridge, and he knew that he probably wouldn't see them again for a long time. It filled his stomach with a terrible feeling so he tried to ignore it and he didn't look back.

The feeling settled by the time they reached the hotel. It wasn't gone, but it wasn't unbearable, so he just pushed it out of his mind. They ran into Dan and Gavin in the lobby, dressed in swim trunks and holding towels.

"Going swimming, I take it?" Michael asked, and they both grinned.

"Yeah! We didn't know where you guys were so we figured we might as well take a dip," Gavin responded.

"You guys should join us! And that's not a request, it's a command. I'm not changing again," Dan said.

Michael and Ray laughed. "Sure," Ray said with a shrug. It was a nice day out and there weren't too many people in the pool so it was an ideal way to spend their time.

Once they'd finished changing up in the room, they came back down to meet the two at the pool. They were already splashing each other and roughhousing enough to the point where children were doing their best to avoid them. Ray felt bad for the people around them, but he was also grateful for their obnoxious behavior. It gave them more room to swim.

They ended up wrestling on top of each other's shoulders and making enough commotion to clear out the pool for themselves. They couldn't stop laughing and smiling and throwing playful insults at each other -- it was everything Ray wanted out of this trip. He was in the middle of admiring their bonding when Gavin knocked him off of Michael's shoulders and into the water. Okay, it may have been hard to take a moment to appreciate the fun happening, but it was fun nonetheless.

When they decided it was time for them to get a late lunch, they left the pool and went up to their rooms to take quick showers. Michael took them to the same restaurant they'd had lunch at yesterday after a consensus that the food was amazing and they all ordered the same thing. "A little routine never hurt anything," Dan figured.

It was already getting late by the time they finished eating so Gavin suggested they go to a club. Michael knew that Ray didn't drink or go out like that very often, so he wanted to make absolute sure that he was comfortable with it. Ray assured him that it sounded fun and he was willing to go, so they ended up going to a night club that Michael had visited only a few times before.

It didn't take Dan and Gavin long to get drinks in their hands. Within minutes they were already on the dance floor, trying to find women that had any interest in them.

"Well they certainly made themselves at home," Michael said with a laugh as he stood with Ray against a nearby wall.

"Yeah," Ray agreed. "They're kind of manwhores."

Michael laughed and turned to look at him. "Do you think they'll bring anyone back?"

Ray raised an eyebrow. "You're giving them too much credit."

They spent the rest of the night watching people make fools of themselves and ordering cokes since Ray didn't drink and Michael didn't want to get buzzed the first time he met his boyfriend -- he had to drive them later, anyway. Even though they were sober, they still had a great time dancing together (Michael "dancing" like an idiot to make Ray giggle at him) and just enjoying each other's company.

They decided it'd be best to leave once Dan and Gavin had drunk enough to start grinding against _each other_ and they headed back to the hotel. They helped the two tipsy Brits to their room, and once they were sure they were settled, they went up to theirs.

They were exhausted from the day's activities and immediately retreated to the bed. Ray was too tired to go through the effort of putting on pajamas so he settled for stripping to his boxers and Michael followed his lead. They laid under the sheets, facing each other.

"Did you have a nice last night?" Michael asked with a sleepy smile.

Ray sighed. "Don't say that."

"What?"

"Last night." Ray's expression faded and he felt that nervous feeling bubbling up inside of him again.

Michael watched as Ray's eyes wandered around the room, looking for something else to focus on. "I don't want you to leave either."

Ray could feel his throat swell and he tried to swallow it down. He didn't want to do this; he didn't want to face what he already knew would be coming. "It's just... We've waited so long, I don't know. There's so much more to do and see and I don't want it to be over just as soon as it started."

Michael reached out and pulled him closer, letting his head rest under his chin against his chest.

"I know."

That's all he could think of to say. There was no sugar-coating it; Ray was leaving tomorrow and he didn't know when he'd be back. He'd be alone again. He thought the nights he spent without Michael next to him were hard enough, but now that he knew what they were like, it was going to be even worse. He knew what he was missing out on. Michael wasn't going to be there to drive around with him or eat pancakes or kiss behind some run-down building. It made his heart sink, and he wasn't even gone yet.

There was nothing left to say about it, so they fell asleep that way, Michael holding him and Ray listening to his heart beat through his chest.


	14. Across The Map - Part 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was like there was an unspoken feeling to just drag out their time together; none of them wanted to leave, but time was running out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn’t get this out sooner, I’ve been a little busy! Also, my birthday’s coming up along with school registration and everything, so I’m not sure how frequent fics will be out. I’ll try to get the next chapter out on time to the best of my ability! Hope you like it! <3

The next morning wasn't as upbeat as the last. Michael was up first again and Ray woke up to the sound of the shower running. He felt a heavy weight, like something bad was about to happen, because it was. He was leaving.

Dan and Gavin had get back to working on their videos and in order to have one out by tomorrow, they would have to leave in just over an hour. Ray and Michael both understood, but they knew that once Ray left, the distance wouldn't be the same as it was before. There would be a kind of pressure now.

Michael entered the room in just a towel and his hair a dripping mess. Ray had changed into his clothes for the day, and since he couldn't wait, he brushed his teeth using water from a water bottle. Michael smiled at him, sprawled across the bed and waiting. He stepped over and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, but Ray held his head to kiss him on the mouth with no protest in return.

After the water from Michael's hair started dripping onto his face and glasses, they pulled away. Michael giggled as Ray wiped off his face with his shirt. Even though his face was wet, he was feeling better about things already.

"I'm gonna tell them to meet us downstairs," Ray said, and with a quick nod from Michael, he left to visit Dan and Gavin's room.

He knocked a couple times, and after a period of silence, he knocked harder. He could hear sighing as someone got up to open the door and he was greeted with a tired, shirtless Gavin.

"Hey, we're going to have breakfast downstairs so get ready and meet us there."

Gavin rubbed at his eyes. "Can you give us a minute?" he said, interrupting himself with a yawn.

Ray smirked. "You look beat up." He craned his neck to see Dan sleeping in the bed, covered up to his waist in blankets and also shirtless. "How was the sex?"

"Shut up," Gavin muttered. "We'll be down there soon."

Ray laughed and started walking back to the elevator just to find Michael inside of it. His hair was still damp, and it took Ray all he had in him not to grin from how unbelievably cute he looked.

"Are they coming?" Michael asked as Ray joined him in the elevator.

"Yeah. Once they get the fuck up."

They walked through the lobby to the dining room for some complimentary breakfast. There weren't very many people there, just a few couples, which Ray was thankful for. It smelled like maple syrup and fruit and it was making his mouth water just standing there.

"I'll make you a waffle, like a true gentleman," Michael said as he approached the waffle-maker. Ray laughed and watched as he poured the batter in and closed the lid.

"Do you even know how to work one of these?"

"Of course," Michael replied. "You just... flip the fuckin' thing... and then it's done."

Ray went along with it and went to fill a plate with fruit, a few biscuits, and a container of Captain Crunch. He sat at a nearby table and waited for both Michael to finish the waffles and Dan and Gavin to show up.

Michael sat down next to him with a plate of waffles and he handed him the better ones of the stack. "These ones are a little burnt," he mumbled as he looked at his own waffles.

"I thought you were an expert waffle chef," Ray teased, and Michael just sighed. They'd already started eating when Gavin finally walked through the doors, followed by a groggy Dan.

"Shit, I thought you two died or something," Ray said when they stopped at the table.

"I _feel_ dead," Gavin remarked, and Dan didn't say anything. He was always quiet in the mornings; Ray had learned this from countless nights spent at their house.

"Sorry, you missed the window for waffle-making," Michael said as he brought another forkful of burnt waffle to his mouth.

The two Brits made their way to the food table and fixed their own plates, soon coming back to join Ray and Michael.

"Why didn't you get any waffles?" Ray asked, looking at their cereal and cartons of milk.

"I couldn't be bothered," Gavin responded.

It took a few minutes to get Gavin and Dan to join the conversation, but with Ray and Michael already awake and talkative, they started to wake up a bit themselves. They took their time to eat their food, and even after they finished, they stayed and kept talking. It was like there was an unspoken feeling to just drag out their time together; none of them wanted to leave, but time was running out.

Dan cleared his throat. "It's, uh... 8:54."

They knew it was time for them to go, and Ray couldn't stop stealing glances at Michael's face to make sure he was okay. He knew that if anyone was going to cry, it would be himself, but he couldn't help it. Michael was the only thing that really mattered to him, and after they left, he'd be alone again. At least Ray had Dan and Gavin; Michael didn't have someone like that to rely on.

The tension was almost painful as Michael drove them to the park where Dan's car was. They didn't talk, but he held Ray's hand, which eased some of the awful feeling that was making its way into Ray's stomach.

After what felt like no time at all, they were parked next to Dan's car and getting out of Michael's. He'd miss Michael's car with the rainbow air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror and the clean interior (that he knew Michael spent days cleaning just for them). Who knows when he would see it again?

They piled their bags back into Dan's car and the reality was finally sinking it to its full extent. This was it.

When they were done packing up, Dan and Gavin both gave hugs to Michael and said their goodbyes before getting in the car to let them have some privacy. As Michael stood in front of him, he felt the same heavy ache in his chest that he'd felt this morning and the same sting in his nose that he'd felt when they first met.

Michael pulled him in for a hug and held him tight as Ray wrapped his arms around his neck. He inhaled the scent of his shampoo and cologne and memorized the feeling of the tips of his curls still damp against his neck. _I won't fucking cry. I won't fucking cry._

They let go to have one last kiss, making it last as long as they could. It felt just as special as it did when they were behind the abandoned building. When they pulled away, Ray took a deep breath and tried to compose himself.

"I love you," he managed to say with a steady voice.

"I love you too."

They shared one last hug that Ray couldn't take the time to enjoy, and then he had to go. They muttered goodbyes as they got into different cars, and Dan reversed to pull away at the same time Michael did. Ray watched as Michael drove in the opposite direction and something inside of him just snapped.

He started crying; not making noises or being obvious, but tears streamed down and he couldn't help it. He bit his lip and stared down at his hands that were now shaking.

It took a minute for Gavin to notice, and when he did, he placed a hand on Ray's knee.

"I'm sorry, kid," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."


End file.
